A Jamaican moment

Recently I had an instructive experience suggestive of one cultural contrast between Americans and Jamaicans. I was expected to meet two Health Educators from the hospital at a specific site in town at 11:30 AM; we were headed into the bush [country] to talk with rural community members about health issues of their choice [HIV/AIDS, blood pressure, PAP tests, and fertility were the topics asked about that day]. The plan was to take a taxi into the hills to a remote area about five miles away.

Like a good American I arrived at the meeting spot at 11:30, right on time. After waiting 30 minutes I began to think I may have gone to the wrong location or misunderstood the Patois laced instructions, so I headed toward the hospital and here they came. They asked how long I’d been waiting; I told them and one said “Jamaicans are terrible about time”. I responded that perhaps, rather than terrible, they are just different from Americans.

Fast forward to the hills: we were dropped off at the home of a woman who died recently and there were 13 men in the front yard preparing her grave. None were relatives, I suppose because she had no male offspring [I only guess, because as an observer, I could barely understand what was said, the Patois was DENSE], all were community members who had dug the six foot grave and were preparing the elaborate 4’ X 10’ concrete cover Jamaicans prefer to the grass we use. With few tools and several buckets of concrete these men were constructing the cover with great attention to detail and care. It was a kind and loving commitment to their neighbor.

After an hour we walked up the hill a mile to another grave preparation site. Here there were 47 people, family and friends doing the same thing for their aunt, friend or neighbor [she had no children or husband]. In this case women and children also played roles. The likl pikni dem [children] shoveled the soil from the grave into a wheel barrow and carted it off to the bush. The men built the cover which was far more elaborate than the first site. The women cooked in a tent and fed everyone.

At this point I said to the Health Educators that these two situations demonstrate a difference between American and Jamaican use of time. Each of these people had dropped what they were doing for several days to see that the deceased were lovingly and respectfully put to rest. Regardless of the time demands on them, these women needed to be honored. I told them that in America we pay to have someone take care of these duties. As someone who has buried a mother, mother-in-law, and brother-in-law I can attest that an early call was made to a funeral director so all would be taken care of. It never occurred to me that there might be another way.

Jamaicans use their time differently. If there’s an opportunity to chat with you or bury you those become the important options. Time is money for most Americans; we can’t take the time to chat…………….. or bury someone ourselves, certainly not a neighbor.

Some of you know I have been carting around the ashes of my father since 1976 and my brother since 2001 [weird, yes, but as the last in the family I knew I couldn’t just leave their remains in some remote place that I might never return to]. When we bought our property in Canaan, NY one of the most appealing things to me about it was that it had a small graveyard on it with headstones from the 1820’s. I knew I had found a place to finally put those ashes to rest. Now I hope that, with my family by my side, we can do it the Jamaican way and dig their graves and fashion those head stones ourselves.

Taik Taim [take time], Margaret

PS: recall from an earlier posting, the Jamaican taxi and bus drivers rarely taik taim.